i'm thinking

It’s 3.32 a.m. in the morning.. I can’t sleep at all. Been online chatting and suddenly got disconnected.. and can’t sign back into messenger ! So I decided to turn to my other favourite pastime – tv ! Was watching some wah lai toi show.. But I wasn’t exactly concentrating. At all. I reached for my faithful sony ericsson and it was then that I noticed the date – 15/1/2008.

This means about another month to go before the airport gets flooded with tears of separation from my family and the familiarity I get around here in Malaysia.

Distracted from tv, I sat on the sofa and looked around the house. This is the house I have been living in for the past 9 years.. nearly a decade. Suddenly I begin to notice the little little things that existed in my house that I never really paid attention to. Those faded beige wallpaper that covers the walls of the living room, the scratches on the glass coffee table, the untidy stack of old magazines, the brown colour stains on the marble floor, and how well my mom positioned the sofas in order to obtain maximum walking space =) Bravo mom ! My eyes then turned to the big black luggage sitting patiently by my room door, eagerly waiting to fulfill its duties on the feb 18th.

Mixed feelings now. A part of me wants that date to come sooner, but the sentimental part of me dreads it. I tiptoed into my parents’ room , where mommy, daddy and joey are sleeping. For those of you who don’t know, joey is my little sister, 7 years old this year. And it was then that I observed their sleeping positions. Found it rather funny actually.. my mom with her right arm slapped on top of her head, snoring like she’s gonna eat somebody up. And dad was sleeping on his right side, hugging onto his bolster, sniffing his nose like every 10 seconds or so. Joey was well.. basically taking the biggest space on the double bed that the 3 of them are sharing despite her tiny figure, and taking majority of the blanket as well. To think that I’m going to have to leave them soon is simply saddening. Wonder whether only girls feel this, or boys too ? girls are more emotionally attached.. or maybe it’s just me. What do you think ?

Then I went into my big sister’s room. I had no idea why I suddenly felt like looking at everyone of my family member’s face. Lol. Now this is the girl that I used to bicker and squabble with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Last time I always wished she would get lost. Now I wish she could come with me. Having a bigger sibling by your side is always comforting. Am I gonna miss her ? definitely.

Still couldn’t sleep. I opened the huge suitcase of mine.. looking through the winter clothings bought last month. Looking at these really piled on the reality of omg-I’m-really-going-overseas-to-study. I wonder whether you guys feel this or not..

By now, I bet everyone of yall is sleeping, even the nocturnal Alston :D and I’m still here, thinking about how much I would be leaving behind, and how much of the fun family stuff I’ll be missing. I will think and think and sometimes it gets out of hand.. help ?

It’s getting real late now.. 3.57 a.m. I’d better be off to bed now.. wow I actually typed out my mind..


p.s. Thanks Jasmine dear !